The AKC Dog Museum

So, today we finally got to go visit the Dog Museum! About time, too! It is in Queeny Park, which is a beautiful place out in the west county part of St. Louis. We drove for about half an hour and then walked a way on the beautiful grounds.






Humans pay admission, even E.Rabbit. But dogs are admitted Free! Right away, I thought this must be a pretty fine place.








However, right after muzzer paid the human admission, we turned to the left and walked up the stairs, and you will never guess what I saw at the top of the stairs.

There was a larger than life picture of TEKA!

I said "No, Muzzer, why is there a picture of Teka and not of Gussie!" Muzzer explained that it was not a picture of Teka, but an old picture painted a long time ago in a land that is far away. But I still think it looks very much like Teka, don't you?

Well, I wasn't really sure I wanted to go on, but the humans insisted.

We saw lots of pictures of almost everydog I know. There were pictures of Joe Stains and Tanner, and pictures of Maggie and Mitch, and lots of pictures of spaniels and hunting dogs.
There was a picture of an English Springer Spaniel that almost made muzzer cry. And there were pictures of corgis and pictures of hero dogs and many pictures of dogs that were champions of one sort or another.


And there were fine statues of many breeds of dogs! Like the one right here! Personally, I think mine is a far more noble profile, but hey, taste is very indivisual.


There was another, smaller statue that I liked a lot better. Muzzer cut the ears off of the top of the picture, but I still think it is quite handsome!





Then we turned the corner into another room, and I saw the home of my dreams. Right there in the middle of the room was a lovely dog house, with many interesting features! I thought muzzer should buy it for me, and ship it back to Phoenix. She said it was not for sale, just for show. Anyway I got to look at it closely, and I got a lot of really good ideas for renovating my home in Phoenix. Personally, I think it was a lot more useful than all those programs muzzer watches on HGTV.










Then Me and E.Rabbit found this collection of lovely portraits grouped together in one of the last viewing rooms. There were four pictures of Wire Fox Terriers, and muzzer took a pretty good picture of me and E.Rabbitt in front of the grouping.






In the next room there were lots of trophies and ribbons that dogs won and
have donated to the museum. One of them was the trophy from the Purina dog show.

It is really Big! And really Shiney!

And guess what. The last plaque on the trophy went to a wire fox terrier. I was so excited I almost peed on the floor. But I was good. And we took these pictures to share with my friends.






I was pretty good, walked quietly on my leash and did not get into any trouble.

Well, not until we were back on the first floor and heading for the gift shop!

Then all of a sudden there was this big black dog right in front of me. It was a Gordon Setter, and I took serious exception to it. And I would not sit, and I would not be quiet, and I kept pulling on the lead and lunging. Muzzer was embarrassed. And the lady at the desk came over and asked me to leave!

So Dad and I got kicked out of the dog museum, and we had to wait outside while muzzer and E.Rabbit finished the tour and looked at the gift shop. I was mortified! But I don't think it was quite fair. The Gordon Setter did not get kicked out. I mean, just because he did a good down sit and stayed quiet, is that any reason that I should be the one kicked out? Terriers get a bad rap.

Campaign songs!

OK, me and muzzer have been trying all day to come up with a campaign song! But, given recent choices by prominent public figures, I've been a little concerned. Being a scholar, I Googled "campaign songs" and have spent a significant portion of the day reading about the songs used by presidential campaigns since George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were running for office. Lots of presidents have used a variation on the tune of Yankee Doodle, and we played around with that one for a while:

Gussie Dagger is our man

He is not a phony

He and muzzer write his blog

And both love Macaroni!

After that, we found out that "O Susannah!" was pretty popular for campaigners. And we played around with that one, and came up with:

Gussie Dagger! He writes a decent blog

But it's not really awesome

'Cause he's never et a frog!

And, I tried to tell muzzer that the primary purpose of this song is so that doggies who blog will vote for me, and I thought we shouldn't tell them it isn't really awesome. And anyway, some days it is. Kind of.

Alfred E. Smith used the tune to "Sidewalks of New York" for his campaign tune, and that was a tough one....the best we came up with was:

Gussie, Gussie, he's my favorite dog

He writes pretty good couplets

On his truly Awesome Blog.

Now, I did not think that muzzer could top that one without going outside the country for inspiration. I was thinking along the lines of Ye friends of Gussie get to vo-o-ting! or maybe

Gussie's Blog oh Gussie's Blog, your prose is exacting. Your rhyming skills and sarcasm, for me can be distracting.

But, muzzer is pretty stubborn. And since we are in St. Loulis on vacation, and Mr. Truman was from Missouri, and he is the first president muzzer remembers (truly, she does!) she came up with this one:

I'm Just Wild about Gussie

and Gussie's wild about me

He writes poems

and his photos

Fill me with Ecstasy!

His is blog is like carob candy

and frosty paws in a cone

Oh! I'm just wild about Gussie

And Gussie's wild about, cannot do without

my vote on DWB!

So, those are our humble efforts. We do, however, have one campaign song based on a (University) spirit song that we offer in honor of his sister E.Rabbit.

Go with Gus! makes me hum along

To this silly old Minnesota song

Go with Gus makes me hum along

So rah rah rah for Gussie D.

Rah Rah Gussie D, Rah Rah for Gussie D.

Blatant Self Promotion time, Again

Ummm...I hate to mention this, but it is that time of the month again, and I am once again nominated for the DWB "Awesome Blog Award." Right now it is a dead heat between me and Luckie Girl, so if there are any friends and readers who haven't voted yet, could you please cast your vote for your favorite.

I probably shouldn't mention it, but Nanook and Pooka are also nominated, and that is one of muzzer's favorite blogs. However, they posted cute puppy pictures, and I am not sure that is entirely fair. (just joking all you serious sorts!)

Anyway, we are working on my campaign slogan and song now, and I have funded my campaign. So go out there and win one for Gus!

That was the day, Miss Snickers she had her Birf-Day

LYRICS TO THE WIREY FOXES PAWTY SONGI

If you were up around Io-way

You sure got a big surprise.

If you were up around Io-way
That Saturday in July

For every doggy that has a blog

Was gathering there for sure , because

That is the day Miss Snickers she had her Birf day.

Chorus:

Pawty time for doggy dogs

The little dogs n' friends were gathered there that day.

Watch them, catch them unawares,

And see them pawty on their holiday.

See them gaily dance about.

They love to play and shout.

And never have any cares.

At six o'clock their mommies and daddies

Will take them home to bed

Because they're tired little doggy dogs.

If you go up around Io-way,

You'd better not go alone.

Twas lovely out in the woods that day

But kittens must stay at home.

For every wirey and blogger dog

Would gather there just because

That is the day Miss Snickers she had her Birf day

TO CHORUS

Every doggy that has been good

Was sure of a treat that day

And every doggie dog who could

Came up there to see the frogs.

There's lots of wonderful things to eat

And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees

They'll hide and seek as long as they please

That is the day Miss Snickers she had her Birf day

Greetings!

Hello Friends.

Gussie Here, reporting from Iowa.

I had a wonderful time at the Birthday party for the lovely Miss Snickers.

I don't want to give away too many details, because I think Miss Snickers and Inspector Butcho should have the honor of telling you the story first.

However, there are a few things I can share.

Butchy and Miss Snickers have a BEAUTIFUL home in a really neat setting.

I love their Mom and Dad almost as much as I love my own. They are really nice, for humans.

The food was marvelous.

The presents were wonderful!

Even Toto wasn't too bad.

I, Gussie, went wading in one of the ponds.

Miss Snickers looked lovely in her birthday outfit.

Mr. Butchy looked downright handsome, so watch for photos, all you lady dogs and doggettes.

I was so tired I slept all the way back to the bed and breakfast!

I am still sleepy.

I will catch up on my pee mails and reading all my blogger pals just as soon as Dad finishes this paper for Poland.

I wish everydoggy could have joined us yesterday! It was Super Tremendous.

Gnight

Gussie

Wild Life

There's lots of wild life on my new walk
Squirrels to chase and Bunnies to terrierize
There's lots of wild life on my walk
But there aren't any doggies just my size

There's Reno the Samoyed over there
And Montana, a Golden Retriever
There's Odie the beagle in my back yard
And Fee Fee, you wouldn't believe her!

Those guys are all bigger than me
And others are still smaller
There's one little guy, his name is Chico
And I am very much taller

Squirrels are fun, and bunnies are cute
And some of them sure run fast
But nobody hollers, "Hey Gussie! Let's Play"
In the morning as I run past.

So muzzer and dad and I are going
To get in my white car again
And muzzer says sometime tommorow
I'll be able to play with some friends.

I hope it's not Teka, she doesn't play fair
I hope it's not Blue, 'cause he's growly
I think it might be a cute wirey pair
Called Butchy and Snickers- O wowie!

We'll bow and we'll play We'll romp 'em and we'll stomp em
We'll visit the birdies the deer and the fishies
And then we'll stop, and nibble good things
From our little doggie Dishies

So Happy Birthday Snickers sweet
And How Are ya, Butchy Boy?
We're bringing pressies and some treats
And lots of wirey joy!

There may not be no wireless yet
In Iowa where we're goin'
But there'll be lots of foxie fun
And pictures to be showin

Have a great weekend all - Photos on the Monday edition

Out of Touch?

I really can't believe it!

Muzzer went and booked us in this "cute" place that doesn't seem to have wireless! (or any kind of connections!

Muzzer did this. Not Dad. Muzzer the on line Junkie.

She muttered something about peace and quiet.

Anyway...I may be out of touch for a couple of days.

I will post whenever possible, but you may have to wait until Sunday night to see photos of my great adventure or get answers to your e-mails. I'm sorry. Write Muzzer and tell her how angry you are about this.

Gotta go pack my bag!

Falling Behind Here!

I am sorry for my extended absence, but muzzer has been preoccupied with taking care of Aunt Marie and Uncle Ray. That said, I have had a nice long chat with her, and we have agreed that she must be more alert to her primary duty of keeping up my blog and making my life interesting. There are still some areas of negotation, but she has agreed to help me catch up.

In the interest of efficiency, we are going to polish off two (TWO!) tags in one blog. Fortunately, that is not difficult for me. I am nothing if not efficient. Just watch me make my food disappear. Oh no, you looked away. It is gone.

I have told her that when we finish this, she may take a break and help me get ready for my trip to see Miss Snickers, Mr. Butchy and their family. Including maybe Toto! So, here we go!

List Five things you would put in a time capsule.

OK. Number ONE: A copy of the Constitution of the United States. Battered though it may have become, abused as it has recently been, it is still a document worthy of review.

Number TWO: My favorite stuffie: Kitty Cat puppet. Kitty has been with me since Santa Fe. She has survived my travels, she comforted me through my sore paw, and even Teka has not destroyed her. I think something with these magical powers should be passed on to later generations

Number THREE: A picture of my favorite walk from VA. Along the Chessie trail near the Blue Ridge mountains. It was one of my favorite walks with Dad and Muzzer, and I miss the excitement of finding something new and exciting just around the corner. So, just in case we have really screwed the world up badly, this is what it "used to be."

Number FOUR: a package of Frozen Green Beans. My favorite Treat. Exceptional with Breakfast and Dinner (I skip lunch), and good frozen or thawed. Do not cook them. You destroy the delicate flavor.

Number FIVE: Ten of my favorite plastic bags for poop scooping. If they have dogs at all, they need these.

************************************************************************************

Ha Ha! One down, one to go

and now:

My Five Favorite Books!

Number One!

Written by my favorite Dad in all the world.

And yes, this is blatant self promotion.

But Hey, it pays for the kibble, treats, groomer and road trips!

Number Two:

Not just because I are one (Philosopher's Dog, that is) and not just because of the really cool looking wire on the cover, but because this was a Christmas present to muzzer the first year I lived with them, and it is the first thing she ever read out loud to me. Put me to sleep, it really did.

Number Three:

My bible, my guide, my inspiration for getting along with Teka!

Number Four:

Because this book is about Clifford, he is a dog, and his person is named ....

and it reminds me of both my sissies.

Number Five:

And I love this one not because it is great literature, but muzzer does a great Grover imitation when she reads me to sleep at night!

So, now you know my secrets. I have VERY eclectic tastes in Literature, and I like to be read to, not to read to myself. If you were thinking I am an intellectual you must now revise your thinking.

Dog on the Run

Hello all: We had a call from my sister E.Beth yesterday regarding Teka. Seems she is sleeping in a bit later than she did for muzzer. Good news, huh?

Well, it seems there is another part of this tale. Friday night Teka somehow got out the front door of our house and no one knew she left, 'cause E.Beth was sleeping and she slipped right past Grandpa without letting him see her.

And I guess she just started running as quickly as she could, hoping to find Doofus Stains at home. (she has a totally unrequited crush on him...really, honest Lillie, Doofus does not encourage her at all!)

She went the wrong way though, 'cause she ran East and South from our house. She managed to get across Rural Road without getting hit (thank dog!) and ended up at a house behind the church there. Someone called E.Beth shortly after 11:00 pm to tell her that Teka had been found. E.Beth was sleeping and didn't know she was lost!

Teka got picked up right away and was seriously scolded for being a bad dog. We don't think it will really make any impression on her, and we are worried about her! She has E.Beth's phone number on her little bone tag, but what if she slipped her collar?

Anyway, please Doofus if she does this again, keep her there and call E.Beth! We will talk to Lillie for you, promise!

Muzzer does it again!

Ah yes...muzzer makes another perfect plan.

She got me up early this morning.

"Come on Gussie, Come on, we are going to Soulard!"

"Lots of Farmers bring their produce in and sell it in this BIIIG building."

"And there are plants and different meats and all kinds of stuff! It will be fun!"

I rolled over. I figured Dad would never go for it. Spend a perfectly good morning with vegetables and stuff? Nah.

Never underestimate the power of a muzzer.

We were on our way by 8:30 am. Walkies, breakfasts, showers and all that stuff were taken care of. (no shower for me, thank you.) We were in the white Gusmobile that Aunt Marie gave me. I had my travel bowl, some treats and a longer leash.

Oh Oh....traffic is terrible. Where are we going? Does Dad know the way or is this another shortcut?

Umm, yes...there is a parade up in front of us and they have French Flags, not USA flags. And who are those people all dressed up riding in that ugly wheel barrow thingy? Muzzer? What have you done?

Turned out that Soulard is an area of St. Louis that had a large number of people descended from other French people. And lots of the streets and parks have French names. And they have this parade on Bastille Day where they parade the king and queen of France through the streets, and then later on in the evening, they behead them. Well, not really. But lots of people were there even though it was early. And they were having a good time.

When the parade cleared, we got to the Market place. And it smelled Wonderful. And they don't let dogs into the market, but Dad and I found a bench and we sent Muzzer inside to shop for us.

And she brought out wonderful wonderful things.

They have GUS pretzels at one stand. They are tasty, but they got eaten too soon to get their pictures taken. Sorry. Maybe next time.

And we got this wonderful, huge wally melon. Muzzer says she knows it is good because she can see the spot where the bee stung it, and that means it is sweet! That woman has some really weird ideas, you know. And there is this lovely Aspara Gus. It is quite Tasty. I had several pieces uncooked with dinner. Yum.
And this funny corn that has Two colors of kernels in it. We are cooking it tomorrow for Uncle Ray.
And this cantaloupe, which is yummy squeezed up and put into Frosty Paws. And this humungous tomato thing. It is almost 1/4 as big as the cantaloupe, which isn't any teeny tiny fruit thing, ya know?

So I think she did OK, but I will report on the taste tomorrow and the next day.

And, it is only 6 days til we leave here to visit Butchy and Miss Snickers! I am getting so excited. Muzzer has hidden my travel bag, cause I can tell when we are getting ready for a trip, and she doesn't want me to drag it around the woody floors here. But I know. And I am READY.

Wow..to really get to meet the lovely Miss Snickers and her cohort Butchy. These are my first Bloggy pals that I have met up close and personal. Do you think they look like their pictures? Or is their clever mother brushing out all their flaws? Stay tuned.

Tag! I'm It

My Wirey Friends Agatha and Archie(http://agathaandarchiespage.blogspot.com/ )have challenged me to post some pictures of me smiling. Or, maybe they said "a" picture of me smiling...but what the heck, share the wealth. So, roughly in chronological order.... This is a picture of my sister E.Rabbit giving the world's greatest butt scritches. She could charge hundreds of dollars an hour for this, but she gives it to me for free!
This is me on the way to "somewhere" (I can't remember!) having successfully ditched the safety harness in the back seat and climbed over muzzer and into the front seat leg well. Good thing muzzer doesn't have much leg, huh?
Here I am in Santa Fe last summer, with my kitty cat puppet (still living!) and my Ole' scarf.
And here I am just recently, and I may not be smiling, but when I am happy my ear sometimes goes up!

I tag wirey Koobus, my friend Dory the Labradory, and Sir Chance-a-lot (nobody does smiles like a golden.)

And I will drop them a note on their blogs right after dinner.

When you're smilin', Doggie smilin', the whole world smiles at you.

And when you're laughin', Doggie laughin' the sun comes shinin' through.

Mission Accomplished!

First of all...I did not break the stove! That is a base canard, perpetrated by my competition for steak burgers. That item out of the way, I was sitting and waiting for my dad to come home early this evening. See my spiffy new plaid collar? Dad finally arrived, and as soon as he saw the stove sitting in the middle of the room, he KNEW we were headed for Steak n Shake for dinner! No one can deny that is one intelligent gentleman.

We all got into the white Gussiemobile and headed down Big Bend to the closest (3.5 miles) Steak n Shake. It was not a long drive, by my standards, but I was quivering with anticiapation. Muzzer and Dad went in to place our order, Steak n Shake no longer has car hops and we don't do drive through windows because a certain, ahem, anxious terrier once tried to enter a hamburger joint through the drive through window.
Muzzer and Dad brought my dinner out ! Half a double steak burger, nekkid! Hold most of the bun and no pickles. Of course, the china supplied by Steak 'n Shake is very basic, but the food is excellent.

It took me about 17 seconds to get to this point. Yummy Yummy, and well worth waiting for, though I don't know why I had to. Now I must get the humans to an ice cream store! Ah, the tasks of a terrier never end!

Oh Frabju, Frabjoy!

This morning, as I was watching out the window at my new house.... A BIG Truck pulled up. And two men got out and started pulling things off the back of the BIG Truck! Heavy things in BIG boxes!
And then, they came upstairs and pulled the stove muzzer has been using right out of its little corner of the kitchen. And all that is left is some uuugggly tiles and a thingy sticking out of the floor.

And I heard one of the men say to my new friend K., "lady, this connection is not safe! You must replace it before you have the stove connected." And he left this orange piece of paper attached to the stove, and it shows the kind of connection we need.And so the stove is sitting in the middle of our kitchen looking lonely and forlorn. And it cannot be attached til K.'s best husband comes home tonight and buys the right piece and fixes it up. So, muzzer says..."No cooking tonight Gussie! Maybe we can get dad to take us to Steak n Shake!" And I did a terrier dance.

More later.

Not much to brag about

Can't seem to convince muzzer to carry the camera around, so there aren't any cute pictures of me on this posting.

But the weather has been beautiful here, and we hope it will spread to the rest of the country! Today the high was 82 degrees. That makes Urban Endurance Hiking almost fun!

Still no Steak n Shake. Did score some Salmon rouladen tonight, but muzzer scraped off the sauce.

Promise there will be pix tomorrow.

kisses from gussie

Some things are good, some things are not OK

This vacation thing is not all it is cracked up to be...

I am enjoying some parts of it, but some parts are not so great.

For example, there is this awesome park that is a reasonable dog walk from our rental. It has great green grass and plants, a nice lake, and some interesting sculptures. I would be perfectly happy just going there a couple times a day for recreation and reduction of fluids in bladder.

Does Dear Old Dad appreciate this. Nooooo. He is intent upon walking my paws off. Muzzer laughs. She says it is called urban endurance hiking, and he does it all the time, everywhere. I am only thankful that muzzer takes pity on me and makes him stay home for two of the four walks he thinks I should have daily!

And, here we are in the city with lots and lots of Steak n Shakes. Have we been to eat at one yet? NOOOO. We went to some namby pamby place last night that has strange food, not fit for man or dog. We ate outside, and lots of people told me I was cute, but frankly, I did not like the food. Thai food makes me burp. Give me a Steakburger any old time.

And I think you all know that one of my faves in St. Loulis is to go visit my Aunt Marie and Uncle Ray at Friendship Village. The folks there love me. It takes me half an hour to get through the lobby, there are so many oldies but goodies who want to pet me! So, today muzzer takes off by herself to do some things for Aunt Re and Uncle Ray. She didn't take me along. NOT FAIR. I am going on strike for a steakburger and a trip to see my friends. And I am not spoiled, no matter what muzzer says.

Respectfully

Gus Dagger W.f.T.

Exploring my new neighborhood!

Hi Guys:

We arrived safely in St. Loulis yesterday, but muzzer flaked out on me and did not help me blog. However, early this morning we went for a long, long walkie. Along the way we stopped at a park, which was neat but not exciting.

Then we went on and on and past the ice cream shop where muzzer thought the wait was too long last night. I thought for sure we were stopping there, but instead we went on to have an alfresco breakfast by the sidewalk. We did not have champagne like Asta and her mommi, but the artichoke quiche was pretty fine! Weather is very nice, not as hot as Azrizona, and the morning was beautiful.

I wish all my friends and buddies could share this with me.

ps. muzzer wants you all to know those are dad's hairy knees, not hers!

kissies from the heartland
gussie

Silly Game

My silly muzzer plays this crazy game in the car.

She stares out the window at the sky and makes pictures with the clouds.

Dad and I laugh.

But today, she said to me "Gussie, come up and see. There are Butchy and Snickers playing in the clouds!"

And Damn! I think she was kinda right.

And one for your little doggy too!

Can you see this sign?

It says "Toto eats Purina Dog Chow"

So this is a special picture for Butchy and Snickers and their little cuzzin Toto

Day 2...Santa Rosa to Wichita!

This morning we got an early start and stopped just a little after nine am to get muzzer some Benadryl for the alien problem.

We drove and drove, and Soon we came to Kansas.

This is my first time in Kansas, but it reminded me of a lot of my favorite people.

E.Rabbit...many of these are for you!

Bussie, good buddy, this one is for you!

Day 1

Greetings:

Here is a brief account of Day 1.

Left Tempe and headed east.

Stopped to pee in the forest along the Mogollan Rim

Proceeded to New Mexico, where I peed and ate lunch

Drove some more....ended up in Santa Rosa, NM for the night.

Hotel OK.

too close to Roswell.

Muzzer bitten on the face by aliens and now looks like one!

update later

Gussie

A Great Adventure!

12 hours from now! Give or take a minute or two.

Me and Dad and muzzer will pile into the white Gussiemobile

and point the nose EAST. We will be on our way to St. Loulis!

I will be good about blogging. I promise to tell you more than you

really want to know about my adventures. I will make sure

muzzer takes lots of pictures. I may even write a parody or two!

We are looking forward to sharing this trip with all of you, the ones

we can stop and see along the way, and the ones we can visit only in their blogs. We are leaving Joe Stains and Tanner in charge of Tempe and Scottsdale. They must take care that Teka does not usurp the city government and incite riots in the streets. In fact, all of you doggies take care of your people and report in regularly!

We won't make it to New York this time, but we will keep planting good

thoughts in muzzer's brain. We won't make it to England, France or Switzerland either...at least not on this trip. But I will hope.

I'm going to go now and start putting things into my black travel bag. Have a safe and happy fourth of July, and if you are scared of the fireworks, just find a safe human lap to rest on, close your eyes, and pretend the lights are from the stars.

See you soonest!

DAD IS BACK!

Hi Doggies!

Yesterday my muzzer left BEFORE dinner and said: "You and Teka be good, and I will bring back a surprise!"

So, we were good (sort of ) and when she got back AFTER dinner she did have a surprise. She found DAD! He has been missing for a long time...well, more than a week anyway, and she found him at the airport.

So, Me n Teka decided to help him unpack so he wouldn't leave again.

He was in England and Scotland, and we were hoping maybe he brought Jackson home with him, or maybe Marvin.

Nope: No Jackson, no Marvin...not even any haggis. Boy, Dad is not much fun. You'd think he worked all the time he was gone or something.


So, since there really wasn't much of any interest in his suitcase, we decided we would just have a bit of a romp on the big bed. That was great fun, and just so you all know that SOMETIMES I am the winner, here I am with Teka in a good neckbite. Silly muzzer gets a bit upset when we romp like this, but it is usually all in good clean fun. This all came to a rather abrupt end when we tumbled right off the side of the bed. Muzzer apologizes for the lack of a photo of that event, but she was laughing so hard she couldn't find the button on the camera!

Grumpy

Muzzer says I'm grumpy.

I swear, it's just the heat.

Sometimes I feel so dog-gone warm

I do not even eat.

And Teka stole my chew chip,

She will not give it back

She grins as she runs past my nose

Her heart is hard and black.

My muzzer is a Luddite

She's screwing up my blog

She cannot get the banner up

That says I'm "featured dog"

She will not let me pack my bag

Or pick what things to bring

She fusses when I try to rhyme

And Teka tries to sing.

I've got an awful lot of things

That I should really do

But if you knew hot hot it is

Well, you'd be grumpy too!