Greetings, Doggies of the Internet

It is I again, Eartha Kitteh.



I have been living with this lady E. Rabbit for about five months now, and even if she thinks this dog named Gus is my uncle, and even though she has some weird habits like making me poop in a box and then taking my poop out of the box and putting it in little bags and then putting the bags in the trash, it is a pretty good set up.

So recently she had a three day weekend. I am not entirely fond of three day weekends because they cut into my alone time. I mean, it is nice to have her around and all, but I am used to having eight or more hours a day to myself. Also, we do not always have compatible ideas about how to spend the time. She thinks four a.m. is for sleeping and four p.m. is for playing; I happen to think the reverse is true.

But we did manage to find a few times we could agree were good for playing, and when we did, she taught me a game called "Fetch." Perhaps you dogs have heard of this game? One player throws a thing and the other runs to get it and brings it back.

I have to say, I am much better at this game than she is. When she throws one of my toys across the room or to the other side of thee couch, I run and get it and bring it back right away. But when I throw one of my toys under the couch or under the dresser, sometimes it takes her DAYS to fetch it, even though I tell her "fetch! FETCH!" with both verbal and telepathic commands. And sometimes she uses a broom handle to fetch them out with, which I consider cheating.

But anyway, she told a friend of hers that I could play fetch. And that friend said "hahahaha that's silly. Only dogs can play fetch."

????

Is she KIDDING? Does she really think there are things dogs can do that I, Eartha Kitteh, cannot?


Let's go to the tape:



See? There is your proof, world and doggies and people. I, Eartha Kitteh, am a CHAMPION of fetch.

My new goal is to learn more things that people think only dogs can do. I can already fetch and chase my own tail. Soon I will have all the skills that dogs have, and then I will be able to take over the world improve dog/kitteh relations for generations to come.

I have the assistance of a most trusted advisor.